As I said in an earlier post, I need a new perspective. A refreshing of my soul. As I’ve blogged about looking back-here I am a little more than a decade later, with a child who has the stomach virus. Oh that’s right I didn’t blog about the stomach virus of 2000. That will be for another time. Alas, with all of my previous experience, I can tear through a house disinfecting it in no time. I’ve learned all the tricks to keep them hydrated. I know all the danger signs too. This time around it is almost a blessing to be forced down again. I’m weary. Just a little too much shifting on the fly.
I spent spring break running to too many appointments. This past month has kicked my butt. Even the neighbor’s kids commented on our busyness. We’re adjusting to Larry being back to work, a little further away, and the changes in schedules once again… Lacrosse is fun and a wonderful outlet. The backyard is still full of kids every time I turn around. Last night, one of the neighbor kids had been given baseball bases. Next thing I knew a kickball tournament was underway. They played until 8:30 🙂
As the weather season changes, it brings us a bigger season of life changes. We have major life decisions to make. Our oldest will be a senior next year. We’re continuing to work on the transition plan and living arrangements. Our daughter will be starting high school. Our middle son will be in 7th grade, and our youngest will be leaving elementary school. Where has all the time gone??
My red bird friends haven’t been around lately. I’ve been swamped with endless needs and countless meetings. I’ve advocated till I’m undone. And there are still so many miles ahead of us. I put myself in timeout this past weekend. I had a severe case of the grumps and holding back the tears was getting harder and harder…What was the matter with me? I have a keen way of critically evaluating myself. My husband told me the other day to stop having a pity party. There have been 3 distinct times he has said that. He’s only said it 3 times in all these years but each time he is dead on.
It caused me to go back & look at the root of what is bothering me. I lost my aunt unexpectedly five years ago. She was one of my biggest cheerleaders. Her birthday would have been just a few weeks before mine. I miss her. With all that we’ve been through-I know she would’ve done everything she could to cheer me on. We’re also thinking of my grandmother a lot more-especially as her health is quickly declining. These past four years have dealt us some heartbreaking blows and along with it severed relationships. Larry had put together that video album for my birthday-I love it. It reminds me of the good times and the people that I love. The root of my sadness is I’m mourning what I had and having to make changes.
My timeout and the stomach virus has been a blessing in disguise. I’ve been yearning for a refreshing. In these past 6 days, a calmness has settled over us. Larry & I have actually had time to talk. I was relieved to hear he is thinking through the same issues I am. Oh hello again best friend! I’ve been comforted to know I am not alone. It still saddens us deeply to have lost some of our relationships with others. We’ve come to the conclusion we still have each other and we’re still a family-just a little different. We have major decisions to make but looking back does help you see that you’ve made it through tough times before and you can do it again. It makes you appreciate those around you a lot more. It also gives you the opportunity to examine the lessons you’ve learned along the way and apply those lessons to what lies ahead.
Life can be difficult but in the difficulty you learn the beauty of living. My red bird friend showed up today 🙂 My husband has called to check in on us. I’ve spent hours blogging. The laundry is getting done, the house looks great, and I feel better. I told Larry I think I have adult onset ADHD-I keep jumping from one thing to another- he said my humor is coming back 🙂 I’m thankful for the simple treasure of taking time. The opportunity (grace) to reset my focus and priorities. I’m grateful for wisdom that comes through living 🙂 I’m grateful for the simple treasure of a time out and a stomach virus. I’m beginning to feel refreshed 🙂