Is This For Real? July 2012

Found this draft of a post from back in July.  Somehow it  never was published.  Better late than never…..

Pinch me. No-never mind don’t do that. This is real. I really am sitting here, finally having the time to think. A time to relax and ponder the events over the past few weeks. A time where there isn’t a crisis of some sort that needs not only my immediate attention, but requires every bit of me to keep going. How sweet is this time!!

If you have been following my blog, then you know I am a mother of 3 special needs sons {youngest11 1/2, & a few weeks away from one turning13 and the oldest turning18, and a husband turning…:)all three birthdays within 4 days-eh gads!}&one precious daughter about to start high school. My life is anything but ordinary!!

We’ve had another hospitalization yet I have been fortunate to learn from previous experiences how to better navigate through it all.  We finally made it to John’s Hopkins!! I’ve learned to drive through the city and back all by myself. I’ve learned to keep excellent records, I’ve learned to keep composure, and how to advocate on many fronts for my children and our family.

The sweet treasure-learning. Being a life long learner. Learning to never give up!  And the sweetest of all is having people in my life who have taken the time to teach me

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Beauty in the Ashes

“We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we’re afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured – the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured,……Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.”

So timely- one of my favorite movies on the TV, with a quote that brings a fresh breath of relief and steadies my anxious heart.  My simple treasure, as I look around at circumstances which are beyond my control& beyond anything I could’ve ever imagined they would be,  is the simple fact that all is not really lost.  To each and every season of life there is a purpose and a plan for it-even though I may never understand, I can rest assured confidently knowing that nothing happens haphazardly.  That doesn’t mean my heart isn’t feeling pulverized and aches.  It just means  I may not be able to see the reason for ruin now, but I know I will be able to look back in time and see the beauty in the ashes.

I’m watching many friends & family post about what they are thankful for.  Each day the goal is to think of one thing you are thankful as we are leading up to Thanksgiving.  I love that I can’t my finger on one thing I am thankful for today-as I ponder through it I can’t pick just one thing.  I am blessed to have a long list of things I am thankful for in the midst of such difficult times 🙂 My simple treasure-finding beauty in the ashes 🙂 To look at what appears to be a heap of ruin and ashes, yet know with fresh grace, that all is not lost.