The Magic Mailbox

It has been just over a year since I’ve sat to blog.  So many things going on and not enough time to gather my thoughts in any sensible way.  Shifting on the fly with intensity.  It’s becoming the new norm.

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night.  This happens from time to time.  My mind was riddled with what to do’s, what if’s, and all the things that I have no control over to begin with- much less in the middle of the night.  I’ve been down this road before-so I can be thankful that I can look back on lessons that were learned.  I quickly reminded myself that all the companies I could be contacting are closed.  Everything will have to wait. Worrying at 2 am is not sensible. I eventually fell asleep around 3:30.

You would think when my alarm went off at 5 am, I would say that is not a sensible time to worry either-especially with the gift of a surprise “weather-related” day off.  Ha-instead all the details came flooding into my brain.  All of my worries, insecurities, and anxiety.  So with an early start, coffee percolating, and some quiet think time, I began to ponder&attempt to coherently think things through- more like pray things through.  Each worry. Each mistake. Each detail. Mornings have been the hardest time for me lately.

For those of you that have known me for a long time, you may remember stories of the magic mailbox.  We’ve been through hardships before and we used to get amazing things in that mailbox.  When we were struggling with finances years ago, we prayed for God to sustain us with what we needed.   I went to the mailbox (I think in the same week we had prayed) and there was a letter from a title settlement company.  The letter stated that after an audit, the company had charged us too much money.  There was a check enclosed. Umm, we had settled on our house 4 years prior;) I still have the letter & check statement pinned to the bulletin board at our desk.  That just one of the times-there have been others that came in the mailbox at just the right time and always never expected…. but it has been a few years now.  I was always amazed & humbled. 

So now entering the 6th month of struggling with job placement for my man (he’s accredited, degreed {making up my own word}, and holds certifications that are hard to get in his field), I found myself starting to panic.  Of course repossession letters are coming and creditors call many times daily-none of that is surprising.  I’ve come to expect that.  After all we’ve used everything we had.  

Pondering thoughts led me back to the mailbox and telling God how much I missed those moments. How much I missed stability.  How much I missed being confident in our budget. How much I missed just being able to do something small. Then I remembered how much I have learned through hardship-lessons that are worth more weight that any precious stone or gold.  Lessons that change the way you look at life.  Lessons that compel you to keep going the distance despite the present circumstances……..Learning that I am really rich :)(just not in money).

I went to the mailbox today……inside was a card from a far away person, who out of the blue wrote how they’d been thinking of us….and enclosed a check.  Oh hello God-you are always there!!!!!Image